COMPARISON KJV & THE LIVING BIBLE
KJV=King James Version, LB=The Living Bible
Why I prefer The Living Bible
Genesis
19:5
KJV=And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
LB=and shouted to Lot, "Bring out those men to us so we can rape them."
26:8
KJV=And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.
LB=But sometime later, King Abimelech, king of the Philistines, looked out of a window and saw Isaac and Rebekah making love.
31:35
KJV=And she said to her father, Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise up before thee; for the custom of women is upon me. And he searched, but found not the images.
LB="Forgive my not getting up, father," Rachel explained, "but I'm having my monthly period." So Laban didn't find them.
38:9
KJV=And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give seed to his brother.
LB=But Onan was not willing to have a child who would not be counted as his own, and so, although he married her, whenever he went in to sleep with her, he spilled the sperm on the bed to prevent her from having a baby which would be his brother's.
42:37
KJV=And Reuben spoke unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee; deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.
LB=Then Reuben said to his father, "Kill my two sons if I don't bring Benjamin back to you. I'll be responsible for him."
Exodus
21:18,19
KJV=And if men strive together, and one smite another with a stone, or with his fist, and he die not, but keepeth his bed: If he rise again, and walk abroad upon his staff, then shall he that smote him be quit: only he shall pay for the loss of his time, and shalt cause him to be thoroughly healed.
LB="If two men are fighting, and one hits the other with a stone or with fist and injuries him so that be must be confined to bed, but doesn't die, if later he is able to walk again, even with a limp, the man who hit him will be innocent except that he must pay for the loss of his time until he is thoroughly healed, and pay any medical expenses.
23:26
KJV=There shall nothing cast their young, not be barren, in thy land: the number of thy days I will fulfill.
LB=There will be no miscarriages nor barrenness throughout your land, and you will live out the full quota of the days of your life.
32:22
KJV=And Aaron said, Let not the anger of my lord wax hot: thou knowest the people, that they are set on mischief.
LB="Don't be so upset," Aaron replied. "You know these people and what a wicked bunch they are.
34:19
KJV=All that openeth the matrix is mine; and every firstling among thy cattle, whether ox or sheep that is male.
LB=Every firstborn male is mine -- cattle, sheep and goats.
Leviticus
12:2
KJV=Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.
LB="When a baby boy is born, the mother shall be ceremonially defiled for seven days, and under the same restrictions as during her monthly menstrual periods.
15:15-18
KJV=And the priest shall offer them, the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for him before the Lord for his issue. And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. The women also with whom the man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.
LB=The priest shall sacrifice them, one for sin offering and the other for a burnt offering; thus the priest shall make atonement before the Lord for the man because of his discharge. "Whenever a man's semen goes out from him, he shall take a complete bath and be ceremonially impure until the evening. Any clothing or bedding the semen spills on must be washed and remain defiled until evening. After sexual intercourse, the women as well as the man must bathe, and then they are ceremonially defiled until the next evening.
15:32
KJV=This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith;
LB=This, then is the law for the man who is defiled by a genital disease or by a seminal emission;
18:6
KJV=None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord.
LB="None of you shall marry a near relative, for I am the Lord.
18:10
KJV=The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for their's is thine own nakedness.
LB="You shall not have intercourse with your granddaughter -- the daughter of either your son or your daughter -- for she is a close relative.
19:16
KJV=Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor: I am the Lord.
LB="Don't gossip. Don't falsely accuse your neighbor of some crime, for I am Jehovah.
19:23
KJV=And when ye shall come into the land, and shall have planted all manner of trees for food, then ye shall count the fruit thereof as uncircumcised: there years shall it be as uncircumcised unto you: it shall not be eaten of.
LB="And when you enter the land and have planted all kinds of fruit trees, do not eat the first three crops, for they are considered ceremonially defined.
20:18
KJV=And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she had uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.
LB=If a man has sexual intercourse with a woman during her period of menstruations, both shall be excommunicated, for he has uncovered the source of her flow, and she has permitted.
26:16
KJV=I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it.
LB=this is what I will do to you: I will punish you with sudden terrors and panic, and with tuberculosis and burning fever; your eyes shall be consumed and your life shall ebb away; you will sow your crops in vain, for your enemies will eat them.
Numbers
15:31
KJV=Because he hath despised the word of the Lord, and hath broken his commandment, that soul shall utterly be cut off; his iniquity shall be upon him.
LB=For he has despised the commandment of the Lord and deliberately failed to obey his law; he must be executed and die in his sin."
Judges
3:24
KJV=When he was gone out, his servants came; and when they saw that, behold, the doors of the parlour were locked, they said, Surely he covereth his feet in his summer chamber.
LB=When the king's servants returned and saw that the doors were
locked, they waited, thinking that perhaps he was using the bathroom.
8:2,3
KJV=And he said unto them, What have I done now in comparison of you? Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the vintage of Abi-ezer? God hath delivered into your hands the princes of Midian. Oreb and Zeeb: and what was I able to do in comparison of you? Then their anger was abated toward him, when he said that.
LB=But Gideon replied, "God let you capture Oreb and Zeeb, the generals of the army of Midian! What have I done in comparison with that? Your actions at the end of the of the battle were more important than ours at the beginning! So they calmed down.
11:30,31
KJV=And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammmon into mine hands, Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
LB=Meanwhile Jephthah had vowed to the Lord that if God would help Israel conquer the Ammonites, then when he returned home in peace, the first person coming out of is house to meet him would be sacrificed as a burnt offering to the Lord!
11:35
KJV=And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that troubled me: for I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back.
LB=When he saw her tore his clothes in anguish. "Alas, my
daughter!" he cried out. "You have brought me to the dust. For I have made a vow to the Lord and I cannot take it back."
16:9
KJV=Now there were men in wait, abiding with her in the chamber. And she said unto him. The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he brake the withes, as a thread of tow is broken when it toucheth the fire. So his strength was not known.
LB=Some men were hiding in the next room, so as soon as she had tied him up she exclaimed, "Samson! The Philistines are here!" Then he snapped the bowstrings like cotton thread, and so his secret was not discovered.
18:25
KJV=And the children of Dan said unto him, Let not thy voice be heard among us, lest angry fellows run upon thee, and thou lose thy life, with the lives of thy household.
LB="Be careful how you talk, mister," the men of Dan replied. "Somebody's apt to get angry and kill every one of you."
Ruth
2:14
KJV=And Boaz said unto her, At mealtime come thou hither, and eat of the bread, and dip thy morsel in the vinegar. And she sat beside the reapers: and he reached for her parched corn, and she did eat, and was stuffed, and left.
LB=At lunch time Boaz called to her, "Come and eath with us." So she sat with his reapers and he gave her food, more than she could eat.
1 Samuel
1:14-16
KJV=And Eli said unto her, How long wilt thou be drunken? put away thy wine. And Hannah answered and said, No my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit: I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Count not thine handmaid for a daughter of Belial: for out of abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken hitherto.
LB="Must you come here drunk?" he demanded. "Throw away your bottle." "Oh, no sir!" she replied, "I'm not drunk! But I am very sad and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Please don't think that I am just some drunken bum!"
10:22
KJV=Therefore they enquired of the Lord further, if the man should yet come thither. And the Lord answered, Behold, he hath hid himself among the stuff.
LB=So they asked the Lord, "Where is he? Is he here among us?" And the Lord replied, "He is hiding in the baggage."
20:23
KJV=And as touching the matter which thou and I have spoken of, behold, the Lord be between thee and me for ever.
LB=And may the Lord make us keep our promises to each other, for he has witnessed them."
24:3
KJV=And he came to the sheepcotes by the way, where was a cave; and Saul went in to cover his feet: and David and his men remained in the sides of the cave.
LB=At the place where the road passes some sheepfolds, Saul went into a cave to go to the bathroom, but as it happened, David and his men were hiding in the cave!
25:37,38
KJV=But it came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. And it came to pass about then days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died.
LB=By that time he was sober, and when his wife told him what had happened, he had a stroke and lay paralyzed for about ten days, then died, for the Lord killed him.
1 Kings
1:4
KJV=And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not.
LB=They brought her to the king and she lay in his arms to warm him (but he had no sexual relations with her).
2:22
And king Solomon answered and said unto his mother, And why dost thou ask Abishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? ask for him the kingdom also; for he is mine elder brother; even for him, and for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah.
LB="Are you crazy?" he demanded. "If I were to give him Abishag, I would be giving him the kingdom too! For he is my older brother! He and Abiathar the priest and General Joab would take over!"
18:27
KJV=And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.
LB=About noontime, Elijah began mocking them. "You'll have to shout louder than that," he scoffed, "to catch the attention of your god! Perhaps he is talking to someone, or is out sitting on the toilet, or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to wakened!"
20:11
KJV= And the king of Israel answered and said, Tell him, Let not him that girdeth on his harness boast himself as he that utteth if off.
LB=The king of Israel retorted, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch!"
2 Kings
10:27
KJV=And they brake down the image of Baal, and brake down the house of Baal. and made it a draught house into this day.
LB=They wrecked the temple and converted it into a public toilet, which it still is today.
Ester
7:8
KJV=Then the king returned out of the palace garden into the place of the banquet of wine; and Haman was fallen upon the bed whereon Ester was. Then said the king, Will he force the queen also before me in the house? As the word went out of the king's mouth, they covered Haman's face.
LB=In despair he fell upon the couch where Queen Esther was reclining, just as the king returned from the palacle garden. "Will he even rape the queen right here in the palace, before my very eyes?" the king roared. Instantly the death veil was placed over Hanan's face.
Psalms
73:7
KJV=Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
LB=These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for!
Jeremiah
4:4
KJV=Circumcise yourselves to the Lord, and take away the foreskins of Jerusalem: lest my fury come forth like fire, and burn that none can quench it, because of the evil of your doings.
LB=Cleanse your minds and hearts, not just your bodies, or else my anger will burn you to a crisp because of all your sins. And no one will be able to put the fire out.
31:29
KJV=In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge.
LB=The people shall no longer quote this proverb -- "Children pay for their fathers' sins."
16:4
KJV=And as for thy nativity, in the day thou wast born thy navel was not cut, neither wast thou washed in water to supple thee; thou wast not salted at all, nor swaddled at all.
LB=When you were born, no one cared for you. When first saw you, your umbilical cord was uncut, and you been neither washed nor rubbed with salt nor clothed.
16:7
KJV=I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare.
LB=You grew up and became tall, slender and supple, a jewel among jewels. And when you reached the age of maidenhood your breasts were full-formed and your public hair had grown; yet you were naked.
31:29
Habakkuk 2:2
KJV=And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.
LB=And the Lord said to me, "Write my answer on a billboard, large and clear, so that anyone can read it at a glance and rush to tell others.