FROM: "DAVID & JOYCE Djaelani Gordon"<joydave@cbn.net.id>
TO: "LAMPLIGHTERS-ALL"<lls@world.std.com>
RE: LLS: Dangerous Minds and Myths
DATE: 2/15/98 11:48AM
Good morning Lamplighters,
I want to share something I believe to be of paramount importance in our program, life also.
"MYTH...., I can't get any one sober or drunk."
I have heard this statement pontificated hordes of us in the Programs for well over two decades, and found this to be smoke and wind, strictly Mythology.
When your "new" to our Program I believe, your mind, body, actions and soul are all open wounds. Easily manipulated and swayed, positively and/or negatively, by someone, or some group with "good solid sobriety," or the "Know `it' all, got `it' all, and "this is the only way to do `it', all right from the Big Book's Walking Testament."
I have witnessed literally hundreds of newcomers in AA over the years, Big Booked and Big Sponsor crucified by `people' who's ego's run amuck and are literally forced back out into the streets and back to their chemical of choice because they could not take the pressures pounded onto them in by the Gospel of AA and Perfect Sponsors who walked on the waters. I am sharing something that lives and exists within our Program.
Sponsorship first of all is `Friendship', a guide through trouble waters. I think friendship and safety should be viewed as a the priority. Being a Sponsor is an honor not a personal liability. And our Alcoholics Anonymous Program an oasis, not a marsh of quicksand. When a person has some time in AA, has done the Steps or is working a program of sobriety, and someone asks this someone to be a Sponsor, we should know if what we have to `offer' is appropriate to share with a newcomer.
Often I have heard the comical, not so comical, statement about relationships, "We don't have relationships in sobriety, we take captives." These relationships `always' end up damaged. The very same statement holds absolutely true for newcomers and poor sponsorship I believe. AA is a safe haven not a loaded weapon.
Myth, "we can't get someone else drunk." Happens all the time. Look at our own histories. If you have been around some, you too have seen this insanity happen. Happened all the time to us when we were drinking, didn't it. Newcomers are in that same leaky boat.
The more time you have in AA, the more you know, doesn't always mean wisdom and integrity, just knowledge and "knowledge in the hands of the reckless is reckless knowledge." This can be dangerous.
Please be considerate and careful what you say and share with newcomers. In Lamplighters there is over 700 now, each one of us is different, acts, believes and thinks differently. If your personality is not compatible with a certain newcomer and sponsorship is your goal in life, much damage may be done and newcomers lost. Possibly forever. I've seen this happen all to often over the years.
Should we `Carry the Message', sure. And `Carry the Message with dignity, gentleness and love'.
Not everyone should be a sponsor, and having time in the Program is not the only requirement and qualification for Sponsorship.
The man who became my Sponsor in 1972, Roy S. saved my life. Many people make great sponsors, many do not!
Slow down and breathe.
Love in AA.
David.
David & Joyce Djaelani Gordon
Damai Raya 65B--RT 002/08
Cipete Utara--Kebayoran Baru
Jararta 12150--Indonesia